I want to stick my p in your. b.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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