Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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