Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I still have a little drunk in my system
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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