Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
