i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
