I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
