Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
