OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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