i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
