I'm drive I can fine osifer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize