i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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