Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
