I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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