There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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