5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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