i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
