I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
