I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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