are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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