I hate all girls vehemently.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
