My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
