I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
