Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I want to be your penis for a week.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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