i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
