I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
