so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
