my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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