and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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