well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
