She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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