Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
