i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
