bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
