I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize