I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
