just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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