the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
