I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
