I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize