omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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