Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize