Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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