I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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