She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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