There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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