can u get pink eye on your cock?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
