i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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