Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
