At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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