therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
