I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
