physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
