You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
