just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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