my sisters under your porch take her home
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
