If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
honey bunches of taint.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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