I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
