had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
