There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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