with your own penis?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
