Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I puked a lego.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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