Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry firstyisback hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

Fav 13 881 3746
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.

Fav 43 2849 5351
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.

Fav 5 3972 1245
share tweet
(760): View more from California

I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog

Fav 10 4393 1549
share tweet
(906): View more from Michigan

Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

Fav 12 3023 1609
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl

Fav 7 1459 2358
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday

Fav 4 945 1656
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.

Fav 7 570 808
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.

Fav 4 59 29
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT