I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
