I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
