Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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