There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
