I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
