I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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