just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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