fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
