I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
