Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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