I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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