Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
