Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
