We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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