Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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