I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize