laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
