so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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