he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
