You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
