We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
