Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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