Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
