sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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